It’s weird how you can be holding it all together… until one day you’re just not.

There’s this moment, right before everything cracks, where she’s still smiling. Still pouring coffee, texting back, organizing her inbox. But something’s off. You wouldn’t notice unless you really looked, and most people don’t. Most people just see her being “strong.”

But inside? She feels like she’s sinking.

And I think… that’s part of what makes it so hard. When you look “fine.” When you’re still doing the dishes and showing up. But your brain feels like it’s short-circuiting and your body’s carrying a hundred pounds of invisible weight.

Anyway. These aren’t rules or anything. Just… little signs. Quiet ones. The ones we don’t talk about enough.

1. She cries in places she never used to.
Like, the laundry room. Or sitting in her car in a parking lot after a grocery run. It’s not dramatic. It’s quiet. Like her body just can’t hold it in anymore. The tears don’t always have a story. Sometimes it’s just… release.

2. Sleep gets weird.
Too much or hardly any. Tossing, turning, waking up in panic at 3am. Or sleeping 12 hours and still feeling wrecked. It messes with everything. And it’s exhausting in a way that coffee can’t fix, you know?

3. She stops answering texts.
Not because she doesn’t care. She sees them, maybe even types a reply and deletes it. The weight of replying just… feels too heavy. Like every notification adds one more brick on her chest.

4. Overreacting to small things.
A dropped glass, a misplaced shirt, someone being a little late, and suddenly it’s a full-blown meltdown. It’s not about the thing. It never is. It’s everything under the surface finally spilling out over something safe.

5. She gets forgetful in a scary way.
Like, forgetting appointments, where she parked, what day it is. It’s not laziness, it’s her brain being in survival mode. Like it’s only holding onto what might get her through the next hour. That’s it.

6. Her body starts hurting.
Stomach aches, headaches every day, chest tightness. No medical reason they can find. But the pain is real. Sometimes emotional stress goes physical when it can’t find another way out.

7. Lack of joy.
Stuff that used to light her up just feels… flat. She bakes the cookies but doesn’t taste them. Joins the Zoom call but barely speaks. Watches the show but forgets what happened five minutes later.

8. She’s angry.
Not in a furious, break-things kind of way usually. It’s quieter. Bitterness. Snappiness. Everything feels frustrating. Everyone seems selfish or careless. And trust me, she hates feeling that way, but she can’t find her softness right now.

9. Decision fatigue.
Simple stuff, what to wear, what to eat, where to go, becomes this mental maze. It takes her way too long to do basic things. Not ’cause she’s flaky. Just… nothing feels right, and her brain’s tired. Like tired, tired.

10. She isolates herself.

Even from people who love her. It’s not rejection. It’s protection. She doesn’t wanna be a burden, and honestly, sometimes she doesn’t even have the words to explain what she’s going through. It’s just easier to disappear for a bit.

11. She starts saying no to big things, or saying yes when she doesn’t mean it.

Cancelling travel plans. Skipping important events. Or agreeing to things because she can’t handle the guilt of saying no. Either way, it doesn’t feel like her. But she doesn’t quite know how to get back to herself yet.

12. Something in her eyes just… isn’t there.
It sounds so cliché, I know. But I swear. You can see it sometimes. That flicker that says “I’m okay”, it’s gone. Replaced by something more hollow, more distant. Like she’s going through the motions, waiting for the next wave to hit.

Not sure what the point of all this is, honestly.

Just… if you notice someone who seems off, even if they’re still “functioning,” maybe check in. Not with a fix. Just with presence. A warm “hey, I’m here if you wanna talk.” Or even better, just sit with them in it. No pressure. Just show up.

Sometimes showing up is the only thing that gets someone through.

Relationship Rules
Relationship Rules is our ideology of love. It's a concept of emotion and oneness. We write about love, healing, health & happiness since 2012.