The subtle signs you’re a side chick and not his main girl
 

1. You’re not a priority
Whenever you really need him, he’s not there. If you were his partner, he wouldn’t question anything. He would just do what he needs to help you. But you’re not a priority for him.

In fact, when you need help, he may not even be the first person that comes to your mind. That is a huge sign on its own.

2. You’ve never met his friends

When a guy wants to show off someone he really likes, he first introduces them to his friends. When you meet his friends, it’s a sign that he’s really into you and isn’t afraid to tell the world you’re his.

Now, you could be a side chick and have met his friends. But typically, he likes to keep you and his personal life separate. That way, gossip doesn’t spread around.

3. He doesn’t see you that much
If you were his girlfriend, he would spend his time seeing you as much as he can. However, as a side chick, he only sees you once, maybe twice a week.

He sees you but dedicates most of his time to his actual partner. So, if he’s not giving you his time, then you aren’t his main. 

4. No photos of you exist
If you’ve been dating him for a while, it’s normal that there would be photos of you on social media. But when you try to take a photo of him, he freaks out and tells you to not post anything online.

Come on, you know what this means. It’s not because he thinks he looks bad in photos. It’s because he doesn’t want anyone to find out he’s hooking up with you.

5. You aren’t friends on social media
We can award some benefit of the doubt to him if there aren’t photos of you on his socials. Who knows, maybe he doesn’t post. That’s hardly a crime.

But if you aren’t even friends on social media… You know it isn’t right. He doesn’t want you to be there on his following list because he’s hiding you from the people in his life.

Why would he want to hide you? Because he doesn’t want to be caught cheating. This sign of being a side chick is pretty hard to miss.

6. You don’t go on dates
When you’re dating, you usually go on dates with your boyfriend. Maybe you see a movie, go to the mall, or visit an amusement park.

Point is, he’s taking you to spend some quality time with him in public. Netflix and popcorn in his bed doesn’t count. If he doesn’t take you out of the house, there’s a reason why. 

7. He doesn’t open up
When you know you’re only going to be sleeping with someone for a short period of time, you don’t really bother opening yourself up.

Any time you try to get him to be emotional, he shuts you down. If he doesn’t want to get attached to you, or he simply doesn’t care to, it’s a sign you’re a side chick.

8. He calls you… at night
We’re not talking about calls around dinner time, we’re talking about late-hour calls. If he only shows genuine interest late at night, you can count on it to be a booty call.

Booty calls aren’t as easy to spot as they used to be. Sometimes, a guy will be direct about his intentions. Other times, he may start a small talk conversation earlier in the day only to follow it up with a late-night “What are you up to?” or “Are you doing anything right now?”

If he contacts you anytime after 10, he’s just looking for some easy and quick sex. Does he ever call you during the day to hang out? Think about it.

9. It’s usually the same day, same time
When he sees you, it’s usually always the same time and same day. It’s like a routine. He has to keep it like this because he has his cheating down to an art.

He has a specific excuse he tells his girlfriend for that time block when he’s with you. That’s why you never see him outside of that specific time and day. 

10. He’ll go silent for days, even weeks
He has a tendency to suddenly disappear without telling you where he’s going or what he’s doing. And what’s even better is that he will magically pop up out of nowhere like nothing ever happened. Maybe he had to go silent for a bit because his partner became suspicious.

11. He doesn’t spend the night
Now, some guys may enjoy the comfort of their own beds, but if they really like someone, they’ll sacrifice a night to sleep in your bed.

However, if he never spends a night in your bed, it’s because he shares his bed with his girlfriend, and she’ll get suspicious if he’s not there. This is a sign that makes a difference between a girlfriend and a side chick.

12. He’s overprotective with his phone
No one would be so protective of their phone if they didn’t have something important to hide. If he’s deleting his entire call log every day and has his photos encrypted, then there’s something to question.

This goes for leaving the room to answer phone calls, too. He doesn’t want any interference between you and his call because whoever he is on the line with might become suspicious. This is a big sign that you’re a side chick.

13. He doesn’t pick up your calls
It’s funny, just when you happen to call, he never has good reception or his battery is low. Convenient, right? There’s a reason why he can’t pick up your calls after work hours, and this points to one of those strong signs you’re a side chick and nothing more.

Perhaps he’s with his family or girlfriend? Now, don’t jump to conclusions in one go, but if he’s not picking up your calls, plus doing a couple of other things on this list, watch out. 

14. You don’t know where he lives
He only knows where you live, isn’t that strange? Unless he’s embarrassed to tell you that he lives with his mom, there’s another reason why you’ve never stepped foot into his house. That’s probably because he’s not living there alone. Hint: it’s not his mom.

15. Plans are last minute
If he doesn’t follow a routine when he schedules to see you, then all of your pans are likely last-minute. This is because you’re the very last thing on his to-do list, so to speak.

When a guy is committed to you, he invests time into seeing you and respects your availability. But if you’re a side chick, you’re low on his list. He isn’t putting in the effort to make concrete plans with you because his efforts are somewhere else, with another woman.

16. He leads you on
If you’re suspicious of being a side chick, a sign to look out for is if he is breadcrumbing. 

Essentially, he is leading you on by ticking off all of the boxes to get you hooked on him without any intention of committing to you. He’ll give you as much attention as you need to like him, and then withdraw it when you are invested.

Like hot and cold behavior, breadcrumbing is an emotionally manipulative mind game for him. He strings you along just enough without having to follow through.

17. PDA is nonexistent
We know, not everyone is into public displays of affection. But if he won’t even walk close to you, it’s a sign he doesn’t want to be seen being romantic with you in public. Why? Because you’re the side chick.

Any guy who is seriously committed to your relationship should be showing affection in public. Handholding, hugs, kisses—these are all normal things that couples do.

If he isn’t doing these, it’s likely he wants to be perceived as nothing more than friends when in public.

18. He acts weird if he bumps into you in public
If you bump into him in public, his behavior is usually cold, distant, embarrassed, or annoyed. He might even go out of his way to avoid you. This is not how any guy would react to bumping into someone he’s interested in and committed to.

19. You don’t know his family
Okay, so maybe it’s too early in your relationship to meet the parents. But if he hasn’t even mentioned them, or avoids the topic when you ask about the people in his life, it’s because he wants to keep his relationship with you out of their reach. He wants you to be a secret.

Meeting the parents is a milestone in any committed relationship, and it’s generally not something that goes unspoken. So if he keeps his family life private from you, or even gets annoyed about the subject, it’s a sign you’re a side chick.

20. Things don’t progress
Some relationships move fast and others take their time. However, at the end of the day, all genuine relationships progress. 

You should be sharing your goals, dreams, interests, and personal life with each other. Over time, you should also be seeing each other more and strengthening your connection.

If you don’t feel like he is contributing to improving your bond as much as you are, he’s building a wall between you two. Relationships stay healthy and alive through emotional needs, and if you’re a side chick, yours aren’t being met.

21. You don’t know where you stand
When we feel like we don’t know where we stand in a relationship, it’s often because the relationship offers no security. Are you doubting your feelings? Do you contemplate whether you put more effort into the relationship than your partner?

Regardless of how new the relationship is, if your partner is fully committed to you, they will put in their half. And when they do, you won’t have to question if they’re really invested in you or not. But for a side chick, this reassurance never comes.

22. He doesn’t get jealous
Now, we aren’t promoting an overly-jealous partner. But if the guy you’re with doesn’t show the slightest sign of jealousy when you mention other guys, it’s likely that he doesn’t care for boundaries or take your relationship seriously. Like, at all. [Read: How to tell when a guy is jealous – 25 hints he just can’t hide]

23. You don’t know much about him
If you can relate to most of the previous signs, then chances are, you don’t feel like you really know him. Why is that?

He never talks freely about himself, he gets defensive if you ask about his personal life, he’s vague about work, and never shares his interests.

The truth is, he’s secretive because he isn’t attached to your relationship. He may be open to having fun, but he doesn’t want things to get deep.

24. You’re saved under a different name on his phone
This is one of the biggest red flags in any relationship. If you’re saved under a different name on his phone, he’s hiding you from someone! There is no other way around explaining this one.

25. He has a wife/girlfriend
If you found out that he has another woman, you can be damn sure that she’s either his girlfriend or wife.

Although it can be nice to fantasize you’re his number one, listen to your gut. If he’s not treating you like his partner, then you’re the side chick in this story. [Read: 22 truths & mistakes of being the other woman in love with a married man]

The honest reasons why being a side chick hurts
Now that we’ve covered the signs of being a side chick, it’s time to address the reality of it. Being the side chick is never easy. In fact, the emotional turmoil you’re put through is nothing but painful.

Unreciprocated love weighs down on your