By

Seun Oladele

Ladies keep getting confused in these areas and keep asking me all manner of questions that show fear and confusion, alright, let's deal with it:

1. NOT ALL VIRGINS HAVE HYMEN but the percentage is few, about 20%. I never wanted to write about missing hymen because of liars who'd burst into tears on the wedding night and swear with the name of God in heaven she never had sex once in her entire life though she has had so many abortions she lost count! 

Yes, some ladies do not have hymen and won't bleed the first time they have sex. If you are a honest person, never telling lies (that is why singles should avoid lies, dishonesty, deceit and pretence), if you tell your fiance you are a virgin, he will believe you. Your attitude towards him, other guys and everyone around you will show it. Apart from that, pray to God to give you your own man who will trust, believe you and see marriage beyond virginity. You may not know you don't have hymen till the wedding night and you may want to see a female Doctor to verify before you get shocked on the wedding night so as to know what to tell your fiance.

2. BLEEDING DEPENDS ON THE TYPE OF HYMEN YOU HAVE: Some have thick hymen, light hymen, or very light hymen. If it is very thick, you will bleed much, if light, you may not bleed much so don't bother about having a bucket full of blood on the wedding night. If the place is tight and some blood is seen, that is enough proof you are a virgin!

3. THE OLDER YOU GROW, THE LESS YOU WILL BLEED. Hymen wears off as you age. That is why bleeding is more in first time sex for teenagers than adults. The older you grow, the less you will bleed so don't expect River Niger to flow out on the wedding night!

4. YOU CAN LOSE YOUR HYMEN through inserting objects,  wearing tampons or pessaries. Virgins should be careful with using virginal tablets, I will advise you not to use it all, you may push too deep and break your hymen!

5. ROUGH SEX CAN MAKE YOU BLEED: Fear of sex and rough handling by the man can make that place dry and you may bleed from vagina bruise not just from broken hymen!

6. FIRST TIME SEX IS NOT ALWAYS PAINFUL: it depends on your orientation, how much you love your partner and your eagerness to explore. If you are too scared, don't have chemistry for your partner and believe old wives' fables about sex, it will be painful to say the least!

7. YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK AFTER FIRST SEX: Ah! Who said that? I got out of bed after I was done and felt fine. Even giving birth to a baby doesn't have to make you incapacitated for days!

8. VAGINA BECOMES TIGHT AFTER YEARS OF SEXUAL FASTING: If you've been sexually active before and stop having sex for at least a year, your vagina will gradually close up, but you won't have your hymen back!

There you go ladies! I hope I've answered your questions. Don't give yourself daily headache over your hymen.

Love yourself, enjoy yourself, serve God and pray for a godly man who will love you beyond your hymen. Virginity ends on the wedding night, after that, real marriage begins.

If you've lost your virginity, you need character to make up for and your virtues will be celebrated. Whether virgin or not, be a virtuous woman, that is what makes your man adore you forever after the virginity is long gone.