By
Bosede Ola-Samuel

One issue of great interest in marriage is sex. As I wrote in one of my books, ‘Enjoying Great Sex Life’, sex is the only thing that cannot be delegated by a spouse. Cooking, housekeeping, etc. can be contracted out.

But, sex for the contract is a no-go area. You have to do it yourself, with your spouse. It is also one of the reasons for marriage contracts and also a prominent reason for divorce these days. So, it has to be given the best attention.

This requires making one available, as much as possible, as one’s health can allow. Not only that, it must also be engaged in for maximum mutual enjoyment of the couple. Furthermore, it must also be engaged in by the couples freely, without any reservations of place and location, as long as privacy is guaranteed.

Over the years, I have always counselled couples to enjoy a great sex life just for the fun of it. However, recent personal discovery about the health of a couple has driven my curiosity more about regular sex for married couples.

This is in the area of mental health for the wife, and prostrate health for the husband. Just yesterday, I concluded that I will be going all out to campaign vigorously for married couples to have regular sex for the sake of their health. I believe strongly that if a couple will live long, sex must be as regular as much as possible.

For the wife, sex impacts greatly on her mental health. When you see a woman suffering from irregular sex, she gets touchy, irritant and uncooperative with her husband. It will also definitely affect her emotional intelligence, which is another issue I intend to address soon about marriage, in this column.

From the angle of the husband, the issue of prostrate health demands that sex for the married must be made regular. I was thinking about the fact that irregular sex could have been sending many husbands to their early graves through prostate enlargement and prostate cancer. I never absolutely believed that one of the causes of prostate enlargement is irregular sex. I used to think it was just a gimmick by men to get more sex from their wives for their husbands.

But, yesterday I changed my mind when I saw a close one diagnosed with prostate enlargement. I became curious and I went on to Google for the possible causes of prostate enlargement − life and direct, I read that irregular sex is one of the culprits for prostate enlargement.

Then, I went wild thinking about the many deaths of husbands. I concluded that many wives could have contributed to the early death of their husbands by not allowing them enough access to sex.

So, I decided to challenge wives through this column to repent and be converted, so that our husbands can live long and healthy enough for us and our children.

No matter what, we must not have sex with holding a judgment for the sins of our spouses, be it husbands or wives. Let us not quarrel to the point of denying ourselves of sex. After all, my people in Yoruba land, say, quarrelling should not lead to death (bi a ba n ja, bi ti ki a ku ko). Let us spare ourselves of deaths in our family by making sex as free as air in our marriage.