A 54-year-old Zambian man don turn courtroom to comedy show as he beg judge for divorce, say him wife body don change pass wetin him fit manage.

The wahala happen for Matero Court, Lusaka, where di man, wey go soon need witness protection from him wife, begin yarn say na “biological programming” dey make him eye dey waka go another side.

“My Lord, na victim I be for here,” di man talk as he adjust him tie like pesin wey wan beg for him life. “I go look my wife for bed, e go be like say I dey sleep near my fellow man!”

As Zambia Observer report am, di courtroom first silent, before people begin laugh when di man add: “Her chest be like bathroom slippers, and her belle be like zebra!”

Di judge, wey try hold laughter, ask am: “So na because say motherhood and time don change her body, na im you wan leave am?”

Before di man fit answer, murmurs of “Awe sure!” and “Yaba!” fill di courtroom. “Where di fine woman wey I marry 18 years ago? My Lord, dis one wey dey here… I no fit!” di man talk, shaking him head like pesin wey dem serve nshima without relish.

As di man dey talk, women wey dey courtroom begin exchange look like say dem wan call deliverance for am. But di man never finish.

“No be my fault! All men get dis virus of ch-tng! E dey our blood!” he talk as he pound him chest.

Na dat time one woman for back shout: “Boss, if na virus, go take vaccine wey dem call ‘manners!’”

Another lady no gree carry last, she talk: “Before you talk say her chest be like bathroom slippers, show us your six-pack first. Oh sorry, I mean your one-pack!”

Di man don dey sweat, but he still hold ground say women suppose accept men as dem be.

Di judge wey don tire for di drama come talk: “Marriage no be about six-pack or zebra-free belle. Na love, respect, and appreciation matter.”

Then he add one final jab: “And oga, before you call pesin ‘rusty,’ go check mirror. You no dey shine yourself!”

As court adjourn, women outside dey talk say: “Zebra belle? Na di stripes of motherhood—him suppose dey thank her!”

One man wey sabi di wahala whisper: “Eh, dis guy don end him marriage today. Make dem call fire brigade for him house tonight!”

Di court never rule di case officially, but one thing sure—Zambian humor no get boundary!