1. Accept what happened
At some point, you need to accept what has happened in your life. Yes, you were the side chick in some relationship. It happened.

This is something you can’t change. But you can change the future and the relationships you go into from now on. 

2. Is this what you want?
There are some women out there who want to be a side chick. They enjoy the casualness of the relationship and the lack of pressure. This is your choice. Decide the type of relationship you want and if being a side chick is really what’s best for you.

Whether you leave him or stay, you will be hurt. Leaving someone you have feelings for isn’t easy. Understand that you will feel sadness, anger, and pain. But, staying with him will also make you feel those emotions. Either way, you will get hurt. But by choosing to leave, you open the space for healing.

3. Talk to him
Many women stay a side chick because they think one day he’ll make them the main chick. Listen, odds are that’s never going to happen, especially if he’s married. Talk to him and see where he stands.

In some rare cases, the guy may be willing to leave his serious relationship and be with you. But either way, you should sit down together and see what’s going on.

4. Reflect on your choices
You won’t break the pattern unless you see why you’re going after men who are in relationships. Why are you attracted to taken men? Are you scared of committing to a serious relationship?

It’s time to look in the mirror and figure out why you do what you do. 

5. No more sleepovers or playdates with him
If you want to break the pattern of being a side chick, then make some serious changes. We know it’s not easy, but if you don’t do it, you won’t move forward in your life.

If he comes over to your place for a sleepover or to hang out, cut it off. Intimacy is the first thing that you should cut off, as it will only cloud your judgment when it comes to making harder decisions, like cutting him off.

6. Seriously, stop being available
When he has free time, he would come over to your house, or you would take the day off to see him. Girl, stop! If you want to know how to stop being a side chick, don’t be available.

You being there for every text and call isn’t making this situation any better. Whether you want to see if he’ll leave his partner for you or you just want to end things completely, stop being available. 

7. Re-evaluate your relationship goals
What are your goals and dreams for the future? What do you want? If you’re wondering how to walk away from the side-chick life, it’s time you sat down with yourself and really thought about what you want out of your life.

Write down or create a vision board of the type of relationship you want in your life. Odds are, you being a side chick doesn’t fit into that vision.

8. If it’s purely for sex, you have other options
If this is based solely on sex, you have other options. There are tons of single men out there looking for non-committal relationships, so why not look at those men? Why go after a guy you know you can’t fully have? 

9. Be kind to yourself
It’s easy to be hard on yourself about why you were the side chick, and it’s easy to make yourself feel small. But that’s not what you need right now.

Changing your actions and stopping yourself from being a side chick isn’t an easy process. It will take inner reflection and work. So, practice kindness towards yourself.

10. End the relationship
If you want to make a change, the first thing you should do is change your relationship status. We all know that the man you’re a side chick for isn’t going to end his main relationship.

If you want to stop being a side chick, end the relationship. That’s the first step to making a serious change in your life.

11. Go through the motions of a breakup
This was a relationship. You were intimate with him and had feelings for him. So, when you decide to stop being his side chick, you’ll suffer the feelings you would have if you were in a relationship.

You’re going to feel sadness and then anger, and these emotions are perfectly normal. Process them so you can move on. 

12. Cut off contact
To stop being a side chick, stop communicating with the guy who sees you as one. You need to cut contact with him and be persistent, even if he begs for you to come back.

Delete his number and block him from any form of communication. If you have him on social media, block him.

Remember, this is a breakup. So, you cannot be looking at photos or posts of him with his partner and kids. This isn’t going to make you feel any better or help you to move on. He has his partner, he made a choice. Delete him from your social media so you can live your life.

13. Take time off for yourself
After your breakup, it’s important that you give yourself enough space to heal and grow. So, spend some time alone to focus on doing things you love and feel fulfilled doing. Rediscovering your sense of self is a huge part of walking away from being a side chick for good.

14. Uncover your fears
It’s not easy to walk away from something you know, even if it’s bad for you. But, now is the time to look at your fears and what makes you scared of changing. Do you feel you won’t be able to find love? Are you scared of loneliness? By looking at your fears, you’ll be able to push through them.

15. Forgive yourself
We all make mistakes, we’re human. Yes, we do things that are sometimes against our genuine interests, but this is how we grow.

It’s important that you accept what happened and forgive yourself. The moment you forgive yourself, you’ll truly move forward in your life.

16. Get excited about the change
You’re changing your life for the better, and even though it’s hard right now, this is an exciting change. Who knows the person you will be after this process, and who you will attract into your life?

See this change as something positive, and that will ultimately affect your life for the better.

17. See other men who are available
Now, when we say see other men, that doesn’t mean to follow down the path that you’ve been on and see other taken men. No, this is the time when you should change your ways.

Aside from focusing on your internal issues, start seeing single men when you’re ready. There are many good men who are available and won’t see you as a side chick.

18. Focus on building your self-respect
Aside from hurting other women, you also hurt yourself. Being a side chick means that you’ll most likely never be the number one woman in your life, no matter what he tells you.

Focus on improving the respect and love you have for yourself. Because let’s face it, if you had self-respect and self-love, you wouldn’t let a man treat you like this.

19. Remember your worth
It’s not easy to end a relationship when you have feelings for that person. But this isn’t a real relationship, you’re the side chick. At the end of the day, realize that you’re worthy of love and of being with someone who sees you as their partner, not someone on the side.