People treat you the way you allow them to”

I’ve always believed very strongly that you teach people how to treat you. The moment anyone senses weakness, they will walk all over you.

This fact forms the basis of our interactions with others.

Respect yourself and you’ll command respect from those around you. When you fail to respect yourself, others are more likely to follow suit and when you treat yourself well, others will do the same.

Command respect by making a few subtle shifts in your everyday behaviour and this will improve the perception people have of you:

Dress appropriately
There’s a saying that goes “You’re addressed by the way you’re dressed.” When you attend a formal event dressed like a Lagos agbero (lout), don’t be surprised if you’re treated as such. Just as a madman on the street would command respect dressed in a sharp suit or Senator outfit, your choice of attire can influence how others perceive you. If you want to command respect, you need to dress the part and sharpen up your physical appearance.

You might argue that placing importance on looks is shallow, but deep down, you know it’s important and can affect the way others see you.

Be unavailable
Yes, I know what song came to mind when you read that and yes, that song is right. Be unavailable. You don’t always need to respond to every text or be present in every conversation. It is a sense of scarcity that creates the perception of high value. Celebrities are idolised precisely because they are rarely seen. That’s the scarcity factor. Avoid see finish, as being perpetually available can lead to people taking you for granted. When you maintain a sense of scarcity, people will respect your time and attention more.

Have emotional control

People who are easily angered or upset are seen as weak and immature. If you want to command respect, you need to learn to control your emotions. This doesn’t mean that you can never get angry, but it does mean that you need to express your anger in a healthy and constructive way. Show that you’re in charge of your feelings, and others will respect your emotional maturity.

Be assertive and set boundaries
Assertiveness is the ability to express your needs and wants in a clear and direct way. Assertive people are seen as confident and competent. If you want to be respected, you need to learn to be assertive. Also, set healthy boundaries and stand by them. This shows you respect yourself, and in turn, others will respect you.

Be reliable
People who are reliable and dependable are seen as trustworthy and competent. If you want to be respected, you need to be someone that people can count on.

One way to be more reliable is to keep your promises. If you say you’re going to do something, make sure you do it. If you can’t keep a promise, be honest about it and reschedule.