Building a strong and healthy relationship is not a day’s job. There are several factors to be considered and different inputs from spouses like authentic love, commitment, loyalty, and a host of others. It would be dishonest to state that there cannot be mistakes in relationships because there will always be. While any partner can make mistakes in a relationship, this article focuses on mistakes women make in relationships.  

One of the reasons we make mistakes is that we are humans and are still figuring things out. In addition, since you are in a relationship with someone who was bred differently from you, there is a chance for mistakes to occur.

If you are a woman, it is essential to be careful of the kind of mistakes in your relationship. Some mistakes are usually grievous, and there might be no coming back from them. Here are some of these mistakes women make in relationships.

Mistakes are bound to happen in a relationship, and knowing them would help you avoid them and resolve conflicts. 

1. Trying to change your partner
Many people don’t like it when you are trying to change their way of life forcefully. They get the impression that you are shoving their flaws right before them, and it can be a morale depressant. When it comes to the male gender, this is one of the mistakes women make with men.

One of the best ways to correct someone is to do it lovingly. Generally, constructive criticism works better than destructive criticism. It is wrong to judge someone outright because of their flaws. Instead, let them know that you are aware and encourage them to do better.

In addition, if you want your partner to change their hobby or way of life, it might be difficult because they are used to it. Hence, it is best to communicate and try to keep an open mind with them. Eventually, you and your partner will strike a balance to avoid hurting each other.

2. Not appreciating your partner’s efforts
In a relationship, it is the responsibility of both parties to make each other happy with efforts of varying degrees. 

To ensure you and your spouse remain happy, it is essential to appreciate each other. When your partner does little favors for you, acknowledge the value of what they’ve done and work towards returning the favor.

Some women don’t know the efforts behind the favor they receive, so they take it for granted. Irrespective of how big or small an effort is, going a long way to appreciate your partner motivates them to do more.

In this book by Muyis Dosunmu, titled: Mistakes women make in relationships, you will learn some mistakes you might have been unaware of. Knowing some of these mistakes will make your relationship healthier.  

3. Getting jealous of other people in your partner’s life
It is normal to display a little jealousy in a relationship because you are in love with your partner, but getting overboard is where it becomes dangerous. 

This is one of the women’s dating mistakes because they feel they should have exclusive access to their partner’s life and other people shouldn’t be involved.

However, this is wrong because before you met your partner, they had other aspects of their lives where friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and the likes were involved. So, it would not hurt if your spouse is quite close to some of them, and you don’t have to let it interfere with your relationship.

If you feel your partner is giving a little extra attention than usual, you can discuss with them and voice out your displeasure calmly and logically. You need to be secure and confident in your relationship so your partner won’t think you are possessive and overly jealous.

4. Not giving your spouse space
Before you got into a relationship, you were first an individual who had various things to attend to; the same applies to your spouse. You don’t have to confine your partner to the boundaries of your relationship alone because it is not healthy. 

Even though your spouse is a primary priority, you don’t have to be clingy because they will need their personal space at some point.

Allow your spouse to have fun with their friends and acquaintances and spend time with the things they love doing. On some occasions, you can join them and other times, let them have their space.

5. Not taking care of yourself
beautiful and sad girl looking at a paper heart on her forehead

After entering a relationship or marriage, some women begin to feel secure that their partner would remain with them forever. With this belief, they make little or no effort to still look charming to their spouses.

There’s no harm in wearing sexy outfits at home to remind your partner that you’ve not lost your touch. In addition, ensure you are constantly smelling nice and looking clean; it is essential to make this a habit. This is also likely to make you feel more confident about yourself. 

6. Displaying passive aggression regularly
Passive aggression is characterized by keeping silent when you are angry or sad. Some women display this nature which can be annoying to their spouses.

When your better half notices that you are not in a good mood, it is best to open up instead of keeping them in the dark. The truth is, handling passive aggression drains energy because the other partner can get tired and ignore next time they see you moody.

Also, if your partner did something unpleasant, you don’t have to show passive aggression. Rather, be open to communicating openly with them instead of being dramatic about it.

In this piece by Andrea Brandt, learn how to prevent passive aggression from destroying your relationship. You will learn how to express your anger healthily and resolve conflicts peaceably. 

7. Involving third parties in your relationship

It is common for conflicts to occur in the relationship, and usually, the best way to handle it is by resolving it internally. Alternatively, if you and your partner are accountable to a counselor, it is a good idea to involve them. 

Other than these, it is not advisable to let any third party be involved in your relationship’s conflict. Most times, it doesn’t end well because you will receive the wrong advice that can damage your relationship.

More so, it is likely that whoever you get your advice from will take sides with you instead of sitting on the fence. Resolving issues internally gives your partner the impression that you hold them in high esteem, and next time, they will be more cooperative if need be.

8. Always being negative
When it comes to making mistakes in relationships, one of the things you need to avoid is being negative. You don’t have to reject every one of your partner’s opinions or proposals because you think you are correct. 

A relationship needs the combined efforts of both parties to thrive so someone cannot be wrong every time.

If you feel your partner is wrong, there are better ways to go about it instead of being negative. Try to avoid complaining and criticizing each time your partner has a suggestion.

9. You don’t inspire your partner enough to remain with you

People love to be inspired, especially by those they love, because it spurs them to achieve more. You have to live a life that will inspire your partner to cherish you. If you remain in your comfort zone while your partner works on themselves, they might get tired of you at some point.

Hence, while your partner works towards making their lives better, you should focus on yours too. In a relationship, both parties are supposed to grow together, and this can be achieved if you consciously work on different aspects of your life.

10. Comparing your relationship to others

It is vital to mention that comparison kills intimacy and love in a relationship. One of the mistakes of a woman who does not value her relationship is, she compares her partner to other people.

The truth is, you can’t get all the desired traits in your partner, and it is totally fine. It is not advisable to start comparing them to other people believing it would motivate them to change. Doing this can make your partner start pretending so they can satisfy you.

In the long run, faux intimacy will breed in your relationship. Always remember why you chose your partner in the first place, and don’t suggest that they become a copycat because of you.

This book by Tony A. Gaskins titled: Eight Mistakes Women Make in Relationships, was written to show women some of their behaviors that they might not have paid attention to.